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Saturday, May 15, 2010

Work Placements and Interviews: Part II

Right. So far, five people e-mailed. One place in Reading, one in St Ives, one in Westminster, one in Exeter, and one in Cambridge. With any luck, I have spread myself well. And if five applications for jobs/work placements don't work, well, I can always CRY. Or simply start again, seeing as I have six weeks in which to find some form of work, which should be plenty.

Oh, job-hunting. How could I survive without you? My mind reels with sarcastic replies...



In the meantime, Chelsea decided to be spoilsports and beat Portsmouth (who incredibly only lost 1-0, and probably should have scored a penalty), that volcano is still erupting, and Stephen Timms is recovering well after being attacked yesterday. Incidentally, his attacker has been charged with attempted murder, and will appear in court on Monday. Of all the MPs who might be attacked, it does seem odd that she would have gone for Timms: he's rather popular with both the council and his constituents. But then, attempted murder is not usually rational.

And on a final note, with David Cameron and Nick Clegg's coalition still being attacked by the press, The Evening Stanners wonders what combination of talents would convince those doubting hacks, and has come up with the following solution.
Why? Because http://www.johnnywander.com/ is awesome, that's why. Eee.

The Evening Stanners

Work Placements and Interviews

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

There are too many of them.

Still, it's quite fun writing to all these different MPs. Hopefully I'll be able to get some replies back soon.

If not, I may have to cry.

Check out www.w4mp.org to see what I'm actually going on about.

Also, Chelsea vs Portsmouth is still 0-0. Hmm. And Ed Miliband's confirmed his leadership bid, by the way. We'll have to see when the contest itself actually takes place.

The Evening Stanners

Friday, May 14, 2010

How To Take On Your Own Party, And Other News

It may seem a rather odd exercise, but it is one every party leader must master: and this week, David Cameron needs to re-learn it rather quickly. Thatcher managed it for over a decade, as did Blair: Major and Brown did not, and fell by the wayside. It is of course, the art of leading your own group first, and the country second.

Cameron of course, is relatively experienced at this. But with proposals to make dissolving Parliament more difficult - that is, make it so that a combination of both Conservatives AND Lib Dems would have to dissolve Parliament - some of his backbenchers are not best pleased. 55% is the percentage of MPs proposed, which would mean that the Tories would not just be able to dissolve Parliament, hold an election, win handsomely, and leave Clegg and the Lib Dems in the lurch. This, I would argue, is quite a good situation: it means that Conservatives will actually have to change their way of thinking a bit. Surely a good sign.

Labour, of course, are not best pleased: but then, they're having to watch as the third-biggest party holds a fair amount of power, while the second-biggest party holds none. So you can understand the irritation. But until Labour actually get a permanent leader capable of taking this "Con-Dem nation" on, there's not a lot of good that will come from their protesting. Speaking of which...

Miliband vs Miliband

In quite possibly the weirdest leadership contest the country has seen - and indeed, the first one we've seen since Nick Clegg took charge of the Lib Dems in 1997 - Ed Miliband has declared he's running against, um, his own brother.

Who also appears to be the only other candidate standing.

Hmm.

Awkwaaard...

Dave is still the fave to win the contest, with Jon Cruddas (notable left-winger) and Ed Balls (notable Gordon Brown fan) being the other two probable candidates. Jack Straw, Alan Johnson, Harriet Harman and Yvette Cooper (the wife of Ed Balls) have all ruled themselves out. After all, brother vs brother is strange enough, but husband and wife?

MP Stephen Timms recovering after knife attack

Unfortunately, the new Parliament very nearly suffered its first casualty, after the Labour MP for East Ham, Stephen Timms, was attacked at his own surgery by a local youth.

Attacks on MPs are thankfully few and far between, and Timms is now recovering in hospital, but it is not exactly a good example of the regeneration of the East End. The Evening Stanners spent a large amount of time in the area, and can recommend much of it: until, of course, it starts to get dark and you're on your own. This is not always true of Shadwell, but is DEFINITELY true of Wapping.

Mind you, you probably know that from watching Tuesday's completely uninterrupted episode of Eastenders. Wait...

The Evening Stanners

Thursday, May 13, 2010

How The Left Lost It


So, less than three days in, and the rage emanating from those who oppose the Lib-Con coalition is likely to burn the eyebrows off of anyone daring to question their opinion. Don't believe us? Let's have a look at the Facebook groups and webpages created before and after David Cameron and Nick Clegg swept to power:
Quite a lot of them, aren't there? And that's the problem. There isn't just one anti-Conservative or anti-coalition webpage, there's a whole bunch of them. And very few of them actually seem to be suggesting how a left-wing government would actually do any better.

Now, unlike many liberal conservatives, The Evening Stanners does not have some sort of crazed vendetta against lefties. Lefties, whoever they may be, have a tendency to be extremely awesome. Left-handed people, for example, can claim to be in the same league as Barack Obama and Matt Groening, as well as Julius Caesar and Lewis Carroll.

Of course, that doesn't necessarily make them left-wing, but you get the idea. We drive on the left, we walk on the left, and very few people can claim to have never used the left side of their body. So we're left (oh dear) with the possibility that left-wingers, such as Karl Marx and John Lennon, might have had the right idea.
But ah yes, John Lennon. That might be where the lefties fall down a bit. You see, the man was undoubtedly a musical genius: anyone who can actually construct a song around the phrase "Paperback Writer" has clearly got a thing for words. But I believe the following phrase sums his attitude to life up rather well...

Lennon decided that he had sold out to the Establishment by accepting the honour and sent it back to the Queen in November 1969 as part of a peace protest. He had his chauffeur, Les Anthony, deliver the insignia to Buckingham Palace and sent identical letters to the Queen, the Prime Minister and the secretary of the Central Chancery, explaining his action.

He wrote: “Your Majesty, I am returning my MBE as a protest against Britain’s involvement in the Nigeria-Biafra thing, against our support of America in Vietnam and against ‘Cold Turkey’ slipping down the charts.” He signed himself: “With Love, John Lennon.”

Now, even if you are the most devoted Beatles fan in the world, that doesn't sound right. If you truly believe you're selling yourself out to the Establishment, and that's fair enough, why the hell have you got a chauffeur, and why is he taking your insignia back to the Palace for you? As Marcus Brigstocke once put it, "Imagine no possessions: well, fair enough John, but you're singing that while playing on your brand-new Steinbeck!"


On a more serious point, one does have to ask this question to those on the Left: is there a point where selling out to the Establishment changes from acceptable to unacceptable? And if selling out can be acceptable, then why on earth do you lay into us so viciously when we do?

These almost inexhaustible contradictions are both the strength and weakness of the Left: a fascinating diversity is ultimately hindered by an inability to clarify where the line can and cannot be crossed. If the ultimate endpoint of right-wing ideology is facism, after all, the endpoint of left-wing ideology is anarchy. It reminds me of the frequent disorder in Paris, where a riot is effectively classified as "an increase in the number of cars being torched". You can just picture the scene...

I don't remember writing this - Boz

Jacques: Monsieur Defarge, it appears that the percentage of cars on fire has risen to well over 50%!

Defarge: Sacre bleu!

Jacques Two: This is an outrage. After all, 49% I could forgive, but this new percentage you speak of: it is blasphemy! It is madness!

Jacques Three: What shall we do, oh unsurprising literary reference?

Defarge: Fire up the Quattro, it's time for rioting!

Madame Defarge: Oh for the love of fromage, this novel was written before cars were even invented...

Defarge: Silence, you French slaaaaaag. Viva la Revolution! Darnay, you're nicked, etc.

Ahem. That last bit was totally relevant. Come on, I even got a Conservative slogan in there.

In short: lefties, you have genius within you. And you don't half show us how the right has a tendency to muck everything up. But winning power back requires much more effort than just saying David Cameron's a slimeball: people have been saying that for years, and look where he is now! So, as a more constructive use of your talents, it's well worth focusing on the good things you guys have managed to do over the years.

The minimum wage? Very left-wing idea, very good idea: the Tories voted against it, Labour backed it. Nuclear disarmament campaigns? Helped end the Cold War, that did. The National Health Service: such a brilliant left-wing idea that even right-wingers have applauded it, or at least realised the folly of attacking it.

In short: positivity and pro-activity first, merciless attacking of the right later. After all, it's well worth remembering that the right have a most unfortunate tendency to bring themselves down through power struggles. Maggie's fall in 1990 is proof alone of that.


The Evening Stanners

Public End Up Clameron For Change



Of all the moments in the Clegg-Cameron press conference yesterday, perhaps this moment summed it up best.

Andy Bell: Prime Minister, do you now regret when once asked what your favourite joke was you replied, "Nick Clegg"; and Deputy Prime Minister, what do you think of that?

David Cameron: I, we're all going to have...

Nick Clegg: Did you say that?

David Cameron: I'm afraid I did once, I...

Nick Clegg: Oh, right.

David Cameron: I... (looks somewhat ashamed)




Nick Clegg (Shaking head, pretends to leave): I'm off, I'm off!

David Cameron (Mock desperation): Come back! We're all going to have, um, things that we said, um, thrown back at us, and you know, there's a serious point in this...


Alas, his point was probably lost in all the laughter and amazement. Two men who, of course, had locked horns for 270 minutes on live TV were now apparently considering giving the stand-up circuit a go. The papers, of course, are full of it, with Morecambe and Wise appearing to be the order of the day (presumably Clegg being Wise, as Cameron took Morecambe on Thursday night).

At the risk of jumping on the comedy bandwagon, The Evening Stanners would be more than happy with the proposal that they'll start each morning with the Breakfast scene. And of course, in tribute to the Two Ronnies, each press conference should end with Cameron saying, "Well, it's goodnight from me", followed by Clegg saying "And it's goodnight from him!"



The media, amusingly, do not really know what to make of it. Conservatives and Liberals, getting on together? But surely it will end in disaster! And if the election battles in various constituencies are anything to go by, then they may well have a point. But the mood amongst most people I have spoken too is optimistic, with only the people who have never liked Cameron voicing their opposition.

So then, all things considered, it's got off to an excellent start. The Liberal Democrats have considerable power at their disposal, five posts in the Cabinet, and will be allowed to abstain from certain key votes, such as nuclear power.

But what do the lefties think of it so far?

"Rubbish!"

Thank you very much.

The Evening Stanners

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Who's Who: The Big Five


They've joined forces to create a government with a healthy majority. But who exactly are they, and who are the three key players backing them up? The Evening Stanners gives you a brief overview of The Big Five...

Prime Minister - David Cameron

The MP for Witney in Oxfordshire since 2001, the new Prime Minister has come a long way since his emergence onto the national stage in 2005: though of course, his roots with the Conservative Party go much deeper than that. A former Eton pupil, Cameron studied Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE) at Brasenose College, Oxford, before working for the Conservative Research Department for five years as adviser to Norman Lamont. However, Black Wednesday spelt the end for the then Chancellor of the Exchequer, and Cameron retreated to commercial television with Carlton for seven years.

2005 was his big year: he wrote the Conservative Party manifesto for the general election, became Shadow Education Secretary under Michael Howard, and then defied the odds to defeat David Davis in the Conservative Party Leadership election. At 43 years old, he is the youngest man to enter No. 10 since 1812, when Lord Liverpool came to power.

Deputy Prime Minister - Nick Clegg

Not many people knew who David Cameron was in 2005: even fewer knew about the man who is now his deputy. Nick Clegg was educated at Westminster School before studying Social Anthropology at Robinson College, Cambridge. He then worked as a journalist before being elected as an MEP for the East Midlands from 1999 to 2004, and was then elected as a Liberal Democrat for Sheffield Hallam in 2005.

He quickly rose through the ranks of the party until he defeated Chris Huhne in 2007 for the leadership of the party. He was often overshadowed by Vince Cable, but came into his own during the General Election when he convincingly won the first ever televised leaders' debate. He has also become Leader of the House of Commons, and will be in charge when David Cameron is out of the country. This also allows him to field Prime Minister's Questions in such a case.

Chancellor of the Exchequer - George Osborne


The man charged with the task of cutting THAT deficit, George Osborne has been gearing up for a role in politics for quite some time. A pupil at St. Paul's College, Osborne studied Modern History at Magdalen College, Oxford, and worked at Selfridges before joining the Conservative Research Department in 1994. He was a Political Secretary for the then Leader of the Opposition William Hague between 1997 and 2001, and was then elected as MP for Tatton in Cheshire in the same year. Osborne was re-elected in 2005, and was then surprisingly made Shadow Chancellor under Michael Howard, before helping David Cameron's rise to power by running his campaign. Osborne's reward was to remain as Shadow Chancellor.

Osborne is not generally seen as being quite as adept as his boss - Cameron has said publicly that he would be prepared to sack his Chancellor if necessary - but what he lacks in good public relations he makes up for in Westminster. His ability to command respect across the board means that, unless an economic crisis develops, he is unlikely to be challenged for the Chancellorship. He now resides at No. 11, and becomes the first Conservative Chancellor to do so since Kenneth Clarke, who is also now in the cabinet.

Foreign Secretary - William Hague


For a man who made a rather poor Leader of the Opposition, and led his party to a disastrous result in the 2001 general election, Hague has come a long way. His negotiating skills in the last few days have paid dividends, and he is now in the Cabinet after several years of trying.

Like Osborne, Hague also studied at Magdalen College; like Cameron, he also studied PPE. He became an MP at the very young age of 27, succeeding former Home Secretary Leon Brittan as the Conservative MP for Richmond in Yorkshire in 1989. Hague's rise was impressive, and he became Secretary of State for Wales in 1995, succeeding John Redwood: however, after 1997, he was one of the few Cabinet officials left standing.

Managing to fight off both Kenneth Clarke and Michael Howard for the leadership of the party was no mean feat: but with a Labour majority of 179 to overturn, Hague was doomed from the start. A baseball cap with the words "HAGUE" on it and a log flume ride made him a figure of ridicule in politics, and he never really recovered from such a bad start, with only his frequently competent performances at PMQ's saving him. In the end, the 2001 General Election saw the Tories pick up one measly seat, as Tony Blair won yet another landslide victory. Unsurprisingly, Hague resigned. Four years later, he became Shadow Foreign Secretary. Another five years later, and he has finally cast off his shadow.

Home Secretary - Theresa May

It's okay, you're allowed to say "Who?" - because quite frankly, no-one really saw this coming. Defying all cross-party logic, which suggested that either Chris Grayling or Chris Huhne would take the role, the MP for Maidenhead has risen out of obscurity to take one of the most coveted roles in the cabinet.

Yet another Oxford graduate - May graduated from St Hugh's with a BA in Geography - her first career was in the Bank of England until 1983. She then managed to become a Councillor for the London Borough of Merton from 1986 until 1994, during which time she unsucessfully campaigned to become a Conservative MP in North West Durham and Barking, before finally succeeding in Maidenhead in 1997.

Her career after that can best be described as extremely turbulent: she had the exceptionally bad luck of becoming Party Chairman at a time when Iain Duncan Smith, by far the most unsuccessful leader of the party in recent times, was in charge. May has since shadowed Transport, Family, Culture, and Work and Pensions, in a fashion similar to Margaret Thatcher's movements under Edward Heath in the late 1960's. 40 years on, she has also found herself as the most prominent woman in the Cabinet.

The Evening Stanners

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Clegg announced as Deputy Prime Minister as Cabinet confirmed

Let's take you through it... complicated stuff! Will be updated if and when more is known.

Prime Minister: David Cameron (Conservative)
Deputy Prime Minister and Lord President of the Council: Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrat)
Chancellor of the Exchequer: George Osborne (Conservative)
Foreign Secretary: William Hague (Conservative)
Home Secretary and Minister for Women and Equality: Theresa May (Conservative)
Justice Secretary and Lord Chancellor: Kenneth Clarke (Conservative)
Defence Secretary: Liam Fox (Conservative)
Health Secretary: Andew Lansley (Conservative)
Lord Privy Seal and Leader of the House of Commons: Sir George Young (Conservative
Business Secretary: Vince Cable (Liberal Democrat)
Environment Secretary: Caroline Spelman (Conservative)
International Development Secretary: Andrew Mitchell (Conservative)
Communities and Local Government Secretary: Eric Pickles (Conservative)
Children, Schools and Families Secretary: Michael Gove (Conservative)
Energy and Climate Change Secretary: Chris Huhne (Liberal Democrat)
Northern Ireland Secretary: Owen Paterson (Conservative)
Leader of the House of Lords and Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster: The Lord Strathclyde (Conservative)
Minister for the Cabinet Office: Francis Maude (Conservative)
Scotland Secretary: Danny Alexander (Liberal Democrat)
Wales Secretary: Cheryl Gillan (Conservative)
Work and Pensions Secretary: Iain Duncan Smith (Conservative)
Chief Secretary to the Treasury: David Laws (Liberal Democrat)
Transport Secretary: Philip Hammond (Conservative)
Culture, Media and Sport Secretary: Jeremy Hunt (Conservative)
Minister Without Portfolio: The Baroness Warsi (Conservative)
Minister of State (Cabinet Office): Oliver Letwin (Conservative)
Minister of State for Universities and Science: David Willetts (Conservative)
Chief Whip of the House of Commons: Patrick McLoughlin (Conservative)

The Evening Stanners

Cometh the hour, cometh the Cam: David Cameron is the new Prime Minister


In what has been a whirlwind 24 hours, Gordon Brown has resigned as both Prime Minister and leader of the Labour Party, with David Cameron now in Downing Street as his successor. The news will delight both those who desired the Conservatives' return to power, and those who wished to see a quick deal being made.

Mr Brown resigned just after 8 o'clock this evening, with Mr Cameron becoming Prime Minister after driving to Buckingham Palace and asking the Queen for permission to form a government. The Queen agreed, and David Cameron thus finds himself inside No. 10, with talks about the Liberal Democrat coalition still ongoing.

It is not quite clear which Lib Dem MPs will be offered which posts, but George Osborne's position as Chancellor of the Exchequer has been confirmed. In wake of Brown's resignation, another post has been filled: Harriet Harman is now the acting leader of the Labour Party.



So, there you have it.

A new Prime Minister.

How will David Cameron's premiership end? We have no idea: for now, it has only just started. He is not going it alone, but this news can only mean one thing: if he's going anywhere, it is to the top. And the Evening Stanners will be following his progress throughout. There will also be focus on the Labour leadership contest, which will presumably be held sooner than expected, and of course, Nick Clegg and Cleggmania won't go away just yet.

Thanks for reading throughout what has been the most captivating general election in living memory. Who knows what will happen? The likelihood is no-one, but it's going to be one heck of a ride.

The Evening Stanners

Labour Leadership Contest: "I Could Have Been A Contender"

The Evening Stanners brings you the runners and riders for what will now be the post of Leader of the Opposition...

David Miliband

Shadow Foreign Secretary; MP for South Shields since 2001; aged 44. The clear frontrunner, Miliband was Foreign Secretary for three years, and both his youth and experience could pay dividends. He will not, however, be able to walk into the job without the fight: especially after the fallout of Gordon Brown's appointment to the leadership.

Ed Balls

Shadow Education Secretary; MP for Morley and Outwood (West Yorkshire); in Parliament since 2005; aged 43. A clear ally of Gordon Brown, he will be David Miliband's main challenger in the leadership contest.

Ed Miliband

Shadow Energy Secretary; MP for Doncaster North since 2005; aged 40. Unlikely to run if his brother declares an interest in becoming leader, but seen as being more media-friendly and less abrasive.

Alan Johnson


Shadow Home Secretary; became sixth Labour Home Secretary in twelve years in 2009; MP for Hull West and Hessle since 1997; aged 59.

ALAN JOHNSON HAS RULED HIMSELF OUT OF THE LABOUR LEADERSHIP CONTEST, AND HAS BACKED DAVID MILIBAND

Though of course, most people probably aren't too concerned about that right now.

The Evening Stanners

Breaking News: Lib-Con Deal?

In yet another twist to the post-election story, David Cameron has left Tory HQs and could be on his way to finalise a Lib-Con coalition, as talks between Labour and the Lib Dems appear to have collapsed after less than a day.

The developments could see David Cameron become Prime Minister by the end of the week, with the Liberal Democrats being offered a referendum on the Alternative Vote system, and several seats in the Cabinet.

More as and when it happens, but it looks like the deal's on after all. Nick Clegg + David Cameron = Smooth Operators.


In the meantime, you can follow all the developments here.

Also, in transport developments, The Evening Stanners has now acquired a bike. Which means news will get to you quicker. Hopefully.

The Evening Stanners

Stop press! - David Cameron and Nick Clegg will meet with their own MPs in separate meetings to try and push through a possible deal. There's also a rumour that Clegg could be made Deputy Prime Minister. We'll keep you posted!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Relief Turns To Anger As Brown Plays His Hand

Conservative Party supporters are spitting blood tonight, after Gordon Brown's announcement that he will step down before October has led to official talks between the Labour Party and the Liberal Democrats. It has also led to widespread speculation about who will replace him as leader of the Labour Party, who could well be the next Prime Minister.

The reason for the Conservatives' ire is all too clear: they have lost their momentum. Hague is battling on with the negotations, and is doing a sterling job for the Tories: but bizarrely, Cameron is nowhere to be seen, and Osborne has also gone quiet. Poor old Michael Gove, meanwhile, is being sent to pretty much every media broadcast and event, in the hope that this will keep him busy: he seems to be doing a remarkably good job considering. But as the Times puts it, Brown has put a spanner in the works by stepping down: mainly because he has facilitated talks between Labour and the Lib Dems.

In what is effectively their last throw of the dice, the Conservatives have offered the Lib Dems a referendum on Alternative Voting: but not only does this differ significantly from proportional representation, there is no set date for the referendum. It is therefore highly likely that, come Tuesday afternoon, Nick Clegg will have rejected the idea of a "Con-Dem Nation", and will stick to his guns. This is a hammer blow for the Tories: they made the move to create a coalition, and they appear to have flunked it. As James McIntrye puts it, this might well be their first and last "strategic error" as the largest party, with another general election this year looking possible.

Tomorrow, The Evening Stanners will give you a full list of the potential candidates for the leadership of the Labour Party, and looks at who might win, and who might fall by the wayside. And of course, we'll be keeping you up-to-date with the latest developments on any "deal" involving the Lib Dems. For now though, get some sleep: it might be until October before we know who really governs.


The Evening Stanners

Gordon Brown Announces Plans To Step Down As Labour Leader in October

In arguably the biggest political development of the year, Gordon Brown has effectively announced that, come October of this year, he will no longer be leading the country, nor the Labour Party.

He has not resigned as Prime Minister, and may not do so until October, but in an announcement that will go down well with many, he declared: "I therefore intend to ask the Labour Party to set in train the processes needed for its own leadership election.

"I would hope that it would be completed in time for the new leader to be in post by the time of the Labour Party conference.

"I will play no part in that contest, I will back no individual candidate."

Labour will now begin official talks with the Liberal Democrats about forming a coalition government, but talks between the Lib Dems and the Conservatives are ongoing.

More soon. This is one heck of a bombshell.

The Evening Stanners

Twitter Goes To Hollywood

With talks between the Liberal Democrats and the Conservatives still continuing, a new trending topic is taking Twitter by storm. "Don't do it Nick" is second only to "Proportional Representation on the social netoworking site, as anger over the idea of a two-party coalition remained.

On the right, Nicholas Lyes argued that "Tories need to form part of next government. Anything else is an affront to deomcracy". But his opinion seems to be that of the minority, as crackthesky_ feared that "Today the Lib Dems may join the dark side, sacrifice integrity and voters who chose them as an opposition to Tories. Please #dontdoitnick"

In light of this, The Evening Stanners believes Frankie Goes To Hollywood should be allowed to convey Twitter's message to Mr Clegg:


On a more serious note, William Hague and Danny Alexander, the main negotiators for the Tories and the Lib Dems respectively, have informed the media that "further progress" has been made: but the reality is that a deal will be made later rather than sooner. Too many people in the Tory camp are sticking on Proportional Representation, and until they concede on that, the deal looks a long shot.

NEWS JUST IN: Labour and the Liberal Democrats met for talks over the weekend, according to the BBC's Nick Robinson. Ed Balls, Ed Miliband, Lord Adonis and Lord Mandelson were all involved in talks with the Lib Dem negotiating team, as Nick Clegg sought to keep his options open for as long as possible.

The FTSE is also doing considerably better today, as the markets are reacting well to the Euro stability package: thus confounding The Sun, which predicted a Brown Monday. On this evidence, it might well be argued that they should happen more often. The Prime Minister is still not in the strongest position, but with the Conservatives losing momentum, he might well be in a position to capitalise.

The Evening Stanners

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Leaders Under Pressure As Final Results Disappoint

"We had a meeting last week which was positive. We will have another meeting on Wednesday next week. It is very clear what my situation is... I have four years remaining on my contract and I have made a strong commitment... I am really pleased to have been here for a long time and hopefully I can stay here if the conditions are right."

You might not have guessed it, but these comments were actually made by Rafael Benitez, the Liverpool manager, after his side drew 0-0 with Hull City today. Yet they seem to draw remarkable parallels between himself and David Cameron.


Both men have been in charge of their club, or in Cameron's case, party, since 2005. They have had some notable successes, and in 2009 threatened to upset the hierarchy. But now, after some unfortunate wobbles and disappointing results, both Benitez and Cameron find themselves under ridiculous amounts of pressure. They must try and soothe their respective fanbases, and must look to do deals with other parties, or they will be far too weak to lead the field.

Footbal analogies should never be overdone: but the mere fact that there has been more decisive activity on the pitch this weekend is surely a telling sign. On the one hand, sources say that the talks are "positive"; on the other hand, Clegg is still very much in contact with Gordon Brown. Certainly, the talks will not collapse overnight: but the longer they go on, the more anxious the markets will get. Cameron has, at best, two weeks to convince the Liberal Democrats that it is worth their while. That will mean giving them several positions in the cabinet, and at the same time, persuading his party into making short-term concessions in order to avoid long-term defeat.

Unfortunately, some Tory supporters are finding it difficult to contain their anger. Steve Hilton and Andy Coulson, the Conservatives' director of strategy and communications chief respectively, are likely to come under fire for their inability to fully convince the electorate, according to the Guardian. They have been a key part of Cameron's team, as have George Osborne, Michael Gove, Theresa May and Eric Pickles: but unless Cameron can placate his party, he may find his inner circle quickly squashed, which could leave him somewhat isolated.

The situation has not worsened for the Tories, and the decision to have William Hague at the centre of the talks is evidently helping more than it is hindering: if anyone has deserved a stint in office, it is probably him. But it has been over three days since the polling stations closed, and by the time a deal is made, it will probably be closer to five.

For Conservative supporters who expected their man to be in Number 10 on Friday, the wait is becoming more and more frustrating. If Cameron cannot win round his MPs - and win them round he must - then the talks will break down.

And Brown will be waiting.

The Evening Stanners