If I Sit On This Sofa, Maybe People Will Forget About The War

Here's looking at you, PM.

Honestly. Gordon Brown + Ten years of working for a boss who's a weasel = A Scotsman who's surprisingly good at impersonating a weasel himself.

If you're not sure why I'm so annoyed, you'd do well to read the BBC report on how dear old Gordon's told whacking great fibs about the defence budget, and then listen to this piece by the Guardian about how he's going to make up for that by having a cup of tea wi' ye.

To be fair, tea solves a lot of things. But teacups also have a tendency to get smashed. And be fair, we are talking about a man who's well documented for losing his temper. Maybe we should start calling him Rash Gordon...

Anyhoo, the point is, the only way that the General Election can sort out all the problems in British politics is this:

1) The Conservatives become the largest party at the next election, but don't have a majority.

2) Brown resigns: Cameron becomes Prime Minister, in theory.

3) Conservative MPs refuse to work in a coalition with the Lib Dems.

4) Lib Dems offer to support Labour if a more moderate leader is elected.

5) Alan Johnson gets elected Labour leader.

6) Another general election is called by Cameron.

7) Labour becomes the biggest party, but needs the Lib Dems to form a government.

8) Government formed, voting system reformed.

Ta-da!

Except: that seems very unlikely. Though on the plus side, at this rate, Brown will almost certainly have to resign. Any man who cuts the defence budget during the middle of a war and then lies about it to the public will be seen as a liability to his party: they'll support him now, but come June, he may have to hide behind that sofa of his.

Chris