The Most Important Seat In The World!

It's been a while, hasn't it? Been busy of late: I blame the Scottish Falsetto Socks!

Anyway, my friend Hannah Snailham recently received a letter from the Conservative Party candidate for Truro and Falmouth, Sarah Newton - whose address appears to be outside of the constituency in St Austell, but hey, that's not the issue here!

The point is, she reckons Truro and Falmouth is the most important seat OF THE WHOLE BUNCH. D'aww.

At the end of her letter she says "PS To change the government in Westminster, the Conservatives have to win here in Truro & Falmouth".

I had no idea we were that much of an influence! To change the government in Westminster, you say? Deary me, that's an awful lot of MPs to change when there's just 64,587 of us. We'll have to be split into groups of 100 in order to vote in the whole bunch!

Still, at least we'll be comforted by the fact that as long as we vote in a Conservative MP, the Tories are bound to win. Honest. Even if they're not the largest party, as long as they've got Truro and Falmouth, the Conservatives will most definitely get rid of Labour. Though that will create a bit of turmoil: after all, if we're the most important seat in the UK, then the new Conservative government will have to switch its HQ to Truro! What a hypothetical palava.

RANT OVER

Sorry for all the sarcasm, but really. One seat making all the difference? When has that ever happened? Even in 1974 it was more than just one seat. The point is, Sarah Newton doesn't need to do this in order to get my vote. She simply needs to tell me what her policies are. And giving people a survey in order to construct those policies is constructive in ways, it seems to suggest she hasn't quite got the firm policies yet.

But despite all my supposed Tory bashing, I'm willing to give her a chance. And interestingly, the Conservatives are the only party with an official spokesman for Cornwall, Mark Prisk: which is encouraging until you find out he's the MP for Hertford and Stortford. Still, he's Cornwall born-and-bred, so I'm relatively convinced he's sincere.

And part of me would like to believe that the constituency of Truro and Falmouth really will have a say in the running of the country (we do have one of the few sleeper trains that goes to London, after all): but it sounds dangerously optimistic to me. Can an MP in Cornwall really rise to the top ranks of the Cabinet? In Sarah Newton's case, we'll have to see. She has to get in first!

Chris

PS She has a Facebook page. 53 members, apparently. It does make a change from "I found this thing really funny and ROFLCOPTER"