So, less than three days in, and the rage emanating from those who oppose the Lib-Con coalition is likely to burn the eyebrows off of anyone daring to question their opinion. Don't believe us? Let's have a look at the Facebook groups and webpages created before and after David Cameron and Nick Clegg swept to power:
Of course, that doesn't necessarily make them left-wing, but you get the idea. We drive on the left, we walk on the left, and very few people can claim to have never used the left side of their body. So we're left (oh dear) with the possibility that left-wingers, such as Karl Marx and John Lennon, might have had the right idea.
Lennon decided that he had sold out to the Establishment by accepting the honour and sent it back to the Queen in November 1969 as part of a peace protest. He had his chauffeur, Les Anthony, deliver the insignia to Buckingham Palace and sent identical letters to the Queen, the Prime Minister and the secretary of the Central Chancery, explaining his action.
He wrote: “Your Majesty, I am returning my MBE as a protest against Britain’s involvement in the Nigeria-Biafra thing, against our support of America in Vietnam and against ‘Cold Turkey’ slipping down the charts.” He signed himself: “With Love, John Lennon.”
Now, even if you are the most devoted Beatles fan in the world, that doesn't sound right. If you truly believe you're selling yourself out to the Establishment, and that's fair enough, why the hell have you got a chauffeur, and why is he taking your insignia back to the Palace for you? As Marcus Brigstocke once put it, "Imagine no possessions: well, fair enough John, but you're singing that while playing on your brand-new Steinbeck!"
On a more serious point, one does have to ask this question to those on the Left: is there a point where selling out to the Establishment changes from acceptable to unacceptable? And if selling out can be acceptable, then why on earth do you lay into us so viciously when we do?
Jacques: Monsieur Defarge, it appears that the percentage of cars on fire has risen to well over 50%!
Defarge: Sacre bleu!
Jacques Two: This is an outrage. After all, 49% I could forgive, but this new percentage you speak of: it is blasphemy! It is madness!
Jacques Three: What shall we do, oh unsurprising literary reference?
Defarge: Fire up the Quattro, it's time for rioting!
Madame Defarge: Oh for the love of fromage, this novel was written before cars were even invented...
Defarge: Silence, you French slaaaaaag. Viva la Revolution! Darnay, you're nicked, etc.
Ahem. That last bit was totally relevant. Come on, I even got a Conservative slogan in there.
In short: lefties, you have genius within you. And you don't half show us how the right has a tendency to muck everything up. But winning power back requires much more effort than just saying David Cameron's a slimeball: people have been saying that for years, and look where he is now! So, as a more constructive use of your talents, it's well worth focusing on the good things you guys have managed to do over the years.
The minimum wage? Very left-wing idea, very good idea: the Tories voted against it, Labour backed it. Nuclear disarmament campaigns? Helped end the Cold War, that did. The National Health Service: such a brilliant left-wing idea that even right-wingers have applauded it, or at least realised the folly of attacking it.
The Evening Stanners
- We don't want the Liberal Democrats to make a deal with the Conservatives (Simple, to the point, if a little negative)
- Not voting for David Cameron (Well that's true of anyone who lives outside his constituency to be honest)
- The I hate David Cameron fan club (So you're a fan of hate, then?)
- Petition to sack Adam Boulton for political bias (I agree. Especially as he keeps talking about Notlob)
- What's blue and doesn't work? A conservative government (You've got me there. Hehehehe)
- Britain is in safe hands, LOL jk, Cameron is PM (LOL jk? How do you pronounce that last bit? Or do you only speak via text?)
- I can't study. I blame it on the Tories (I sympathise: my last module was ON the Tories)
- No shock doctrine for Britain (But what about Total Wipeout? Oh, you mean the cuts)
- You 'Did a Clegg' - the 21st Century sell-out term! (I prefer 'Did an Iggy Pop')
- Call an Election now (All right. Heeeeeeeere Election, who wants some cookies)
- You will be missed Gordon! (Especially as we've only got 14 hours to save the Earth)
- Take Back Parliament (We tried Take That Parliament, but that would be setting the Barlow)
- I wish Goku would Kamehameha David Cameron (That one I might pay to see)
Quite a lot of them, aren't there? And that's the problem. There isn't just one anti-Conservative or anti-coalition webpage, there's a whole bunch of them. And very few of them actually seem to be suggesting how a left-wing government would actually do any better.
Now, unlike many liberal conservatives, The Evening Stanners does not have some sort of crazed vendetta against lefties. Lefties, whoever they may be, have a tendency to be extremely awesome. Left-handed people, for example, can claim to be in the same league as Barack Obama and Matt Groening, as well as Julius Caesar and Lewis Carroll.
Of course, that doesn't necessarily make them left-wing, but you get the idea. We drive on the left, we walk on the left, and very few people can claim to have never used the left side of their body. So we're left (oh dear) with the possibility that left-wingers, such as Karl Marx and John Lennon, might have had the right idea.
But ah yes, John Lennon. That might be where the lefties fall down a bit. You see, the man was undoubtedly a musical genius: anyone who can actually construct a song around the phrase "Paperback Writer" has clearly got a thing for words. But I believe the following phrase sums his attitude to life up rather well...
Lennon decided that he had sold out to the Establishment by accepting the honour and sent it back to the Queen in November 1969 as part of a peace protest. He had his chauffeur, Les Anthony, deliver the insignia to Buckingham Palace and sent identical letters to the Queen, the Prime Minister and the secretary of the Central Chancery, explaining his action.
He wrote: “Your Majesty, I am returning my MBE as a protest against Britain’s involvement in the Nigeria-Biafra thing, against our support of America in Vietnam and against ‘Cold Turkey’ slipping down the charts.” He signed himself: “With Love, John Lennon.”
Now, even if you are the most devoted Beatles fan in the world, that doesn't sound right. If you truly believe you're selling yourself out to the Establishment, and that's fair enough, why the hell have you got a chauffeur, and why is he taking your insignia back to the Palace for you? As Marcus Brigstocke once put it, "Imagine no possessions: well, fair enough John, but you're singing that while playing on your brand-new Steinbeck!"
On a more serious point, one does have to ask this question to those on the Left: is there a point where selling out to the Establishment changes from acceptable to unacceptable? And if selling out can be acceptable, then why on earth do you lay into us so viciously when we do?
These almost inexhaustible contradictions are both the strength and weakness of the Left: a fascinating diversity is ultimately hindered by an inability to clarify where the line can and cannot be crossed. If the ultimate endpoint of right-wing ideology is facism, after all, the endpoint of left-wing ideology is anarchy. It reminds me of the frequent disorder in Paris, where a riot is effectively classified as "an increase in the number of cars being torched". You can just picture the scene...
I don't remember writing this - Boz
Jacques: Monsieur Defarge, it appears that the percentage of cars on fire has risen to well over 50%!
Defarge: Sacre bleu!
Jacques Two: This is an outrage. After all, 49% I could forgive, but this new percentage you speak of: it is blasphemy! It is madness!
Jacques Three: What shall we do, oh unsurprising literary reference?
Defarge: Fire up the Quattro, it's time for rioting!
Madame Defarge: Oh for the love of fromage, this novel was written before cars were even invented...
Defarge: Silence, you French slaaaaaag. Viva la Revolution! Darnay, you're nicked, etc.
Ahem. That last bit was totally relevant. Come on, I even got a Conservative slogan in there.
In short: lefties, you have genius within you. And you don't half show us how the right has a tendency to muck everything up. But winning power back requires much more effort than just saying David Cameron's a slimeball: people have been saying that for years, and look where he is now! So, as a more constructive use of your talents, it's well worth focusing on the good things you guys have managed to do over the years.
The minimum wage? Very left-wing idea, very good idea: the Tories voted against it, Labour backed it. Nuclear disarmament campaigns? Helped end the Cold War, that did. The National Health Service: such a brilliant left-wing idea that even right-wingers have applauded it, or at least realised the folly of attacking it.
In short: positivity and pro-activity first, merciless attacking of the right later. After all, it's well worth remembering that the right have a most unfortunate tendency to bring themselves down through power struggles. Maggie's fall in 1990 is proof alone of that.
The Evening Stanners
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