Labour Need To Smarten Up

Is this, dear readers, what the Labour Party has been reduced to in recent weeks? It would appear so. Yesterday in the House of Commons, a Labour MP decided that what the public really wanted to see a discussion on was the dress code of MPs.

The most controversial issue in Parliament?

According to BBC News, "Thomas Docherty, new MP for Dunfermline and West Fife, raised a point of order suggesting several MPs had been spotted wearing denim in the House.

Later he told the BBC the point had been "semi-serious" but some women MPs had been "rocking up in a mixture of denim and knee length boots".

Deputy Speaker Dawn Primarolo said all MPs knew they should dress smartly.

MPs laughed as she suggested Mr Docherty speak to those concerned directly, adding 'I'm sure they would welcome it'."

The scandal of some coalition MPs, eh? First they hike tuition fees, now they're wearing denim. Clearly we need Labour to stand up to these fashion criminals before the country goes to the wall!

Or, perhaps more helpfully, they could start drawing up some policies. After all, if the Tories can come up with something like this notebook for Christmas, the signs aren't good...

Why a notebook, I hear you cry? Bascially, it all stems from Ed Miliband saying that Labour were going to start with "a blank sheet of paper". Perhaps not the best phrase to have used in hindsight, because the Tories have gone for it like footballers go for scandalous affairs, and are actually selling this to their members as a 204-page notebook for a fiver. The joke being: it's blank.

Admittedly, I've heard better political jokes in my time, but the Tories may well have a point. Apart from proposing the graduate tax as an alternative to higher tuition fees, and rambling about "the squeezed middle", Ed is a man who appears to be big on Clegg-bashing but small on policy. Indeed, for someone who wrote the Labour manifesto, he's having difficulties coming up with new ideas: Labour's Policy Review remains unwritten.

The more pressing issue, however, is that Cameron is having a much easier time against Miliband than he was against Brown, who didn't even get voted leader by his party. Ed frequently tries to score points by painting himself as progressive, but the truth is he can't lay a finger on Cameron at present, and is frequently heckled into a state of confusion and irritation: Prime Minister's Questions on Wednesday 1st December being the best example so far. What's more, some progressive bloggers are already damning his current strategy. If he's not careful, the confusion may spread throughout his party: but for now, he appears to be safe. Whether he can win the next election, however, is open to serious debate.

The Evening Stanners