Bill and Clegg's Excellent Adventures

Taken from today's Guardian:

Sharing seats around the cabinet table is one thing. But Nick Clegg and William Hague have taken the spirit of coalition one step further – by agreeing to share a house.

The deputy prime minister and the foreign secretary – the two most senior figures in the government after David Cameron – have been given the joint use of Chevening, a grace-and-favour home set in a 3,500-acre estate in Kent.

Most excellent, dudes! This could lead to some seriously bodacious episodes...

Clegg (Ted): Dude, are you sure we should be doing this?
Bill (Hague): Clegg, you and I have witnessed many things, but nothing as bodacious as what just happened. Besides, we told ourselves to listen to this guy.
Clegg: What if we were lying?
Bill: Why would we lie to ourselves?

Bill: Greetings, immigrant dudes! Woah, this capping system is totally bogus.
Clegg: Dude, what if we were to introduce an amnesty?
Bill: Woah man, not cool.
Clegg: What?
Bill: Big words man: you know you have to explain big words.
Clegg: Oh, well, an amnesty is where anyone who uses too many references is allowed to get away with it.
Bill: Does that include us?
Clegg: Totally.
Bill: Sweet! (Air guitars)

(On the visit of Carla Bruni)

Clegg: Dude, that chick's pretty hot.
Bill: Shut up, Clegg.
Clegg: Is it true you asked her what she thought of Wife Swap?
Bill: SHUT UP, CLEGG!

Not sure who would make a good Rufus. This would be implying that Rufus should be replaced: scandalous stuff.

Next week: Dave's World. Or summat.

The Evening Stanners