The Real End of New Labour

Rather fitting, this. Taken from BBC News...

The Labour club which played host to many milestones in Tony Blair's political career is to close.

Trimdon Labour Club was where the then MP for Sedgefield said he was standing for party leadership in 1994.

It was also the setting for three general election victory celebrations and his formal announcement that he was standing down as prime minister.

The club secretary said that finances had been hit by the smoking ban and cheaper supermarket drink prices.

After the club closes next month, the premises will be turned into a new pub, not affiliated with any party.

'Can't compete'

The club was opened by former Labour leader Neil Kinnock in 1993, and during Mr Blair's premiership visitors included the then French prime minister, Lionel Jospin.

Paul Trippett, the club secretary, said: "We're all devastated really, but we are losing money quite steadily and there doesn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel.

"The smoking ban did play a part, especially during winter months, but what's really done for us is cheap beer.

"In the club £10 will unfortunately only get you four pints of lager but if you go to one of the big supermarkets, £10 will get you 48 cans.

"Really, you can't compete with that."

The decision to close was made by the committee, following a number of discussions about finances.

"We thought we can do this in two ways," he said.

"We can struggle on until we were forced to close, or we can pay off our creditors and walk out on 22 July with our heads held high."

What I like here is the irony of New Labour: Blair effectively killed off the club that launched him with the smoking ban and encouraging cheap alcohol at off-licenses.

Funny old world...

The Evening Stanners

If you gallivant around the country...

Then you might not always update your blogs on a regular basis.

Shocking stuff.

So what's happening?

1. The England football team were awesome. Then they failed at life. C'est bizarre.

2. I may have a summer job in Devon. More on that story later!

3. I keep getting e-mails from various parties telling me the budget was right/wrong/necessary (Conservative, Labour, and Lib Dem, in that order). Personally, I think Nick Clegg's e-mail was closest to the truth. He may be in a somewhat unimportant role, but he does talk sense.

4. Holland are beating Slovakia. They're my sweepstake team. This is therefore good news.

5. I had the most awesome time in London on Friday, even if Rachel Hill did beat me at Air Hockey AND Ten Pin Bowling. I will have my vengeance, in this world or the next...

Update later on today, with any luck!

The Evening Stanners

P.S. Oww, sunburn. I am a forgetful wossface.

That reminds me of that time when I was Chancell-yah

Oh my word, I can't believe you just raised VAT to 20%. That totally reminds me of that time when I was Chancell-yah.

And like, it was a really moving and touching experience inside the Houses of Parl-yah-ment, and I like, felt this real sense of responsibility, yah know? And I was like, trying to give this deep and emotional speech on how to bring Britain into a new era and that;

And then I just introduced spending cuts EVERYWHERE...

Uh-oh, he's onto me.

RUN AWAAAAAAAAY...

The Evening Stanners will be back once he's outrun the MP for Tatton...

Marmalade Democracy

This.

This site.

This site is.

THIS SITE IS AWESOME

http://marmaladedemocracy.blogspot.com

What are you waiting for? Go and read it! It makes a lot more sense than this silly blog post of mine! And you will learn much about the awesome film-making talents of Loz, Josh and Gray, three good friends of mine from Cardiff :)

The Evening Stanners

PS Budget tomorrow. Mm.

Blame Labour For The Footie

So, the England football team.

Yeah.

Makes me... proud... to be...

QUARTER-IRISH BECAUSE IRELAND BLOODY BEAT ALGERIA 3-0 FOR PETE'S SAKE

And breathe.

In light of the recent development that England are shocking, I have decided that the easiest way to guess how England will do is to see how Labour are doing in the polls.

Let's have a look-see...

1966: Labour win by a landslide, with George Brown as Deputy Leader. England win the World Cup.

1970: England get to the Quarter-Finals, but surprisingly lose to Germany. Labour lose the election, and George Brown loses his seat.

1974: England don't qualify. Labour win by default against Ted Heath.

1978: England don't qualify. Labour barely holding onto power under Lib-Lab pact.

1982: England make the second group stage. Labour on brink of extinction?

1986: England make the quarter-finals. Labour starting to fight back a bit. Gordon Brown is now an MP. (Note the Brown connection: note it!)

1990: England reach the semi-finals. Labour are ahead in the polls, and Thatcher is on the brink. Gordon Brown is on the rise in the Labour Party

1994: England don't qualify. Labour leader John Smith dies. Gordon Brown bottles chance to be leader.

1998: England make the second round. Labour are in power. Tony Blair is in a bit of trouble over the Ecclestone business; Brown is Chancellor.

2002: England make the quarter-finals. Brown has served five years as Chancellor.

2006: England make the quarter-finals. Blair's STILL there. Brown is very close to becoming PM.

2010: England can't beat the US or Algeria. BROWN IS NO LONGER IN DOWNING STREET.

So we can safely conclude that England only do well when:

1. There's a person called Brown in Government. (In between the two Browns, you'll notice, we never make it beyond the groups, or even qualifying sometimes!)

2. There's a strong Labour government.

3. We have huge riots in London.

So, seeing as the first two aren't going to happen anytime soon, I propose that somebody in London holds a riot before Wednesday, or we're all horribly DOOMED.

Ta.

The Evening Stanners

PS I just realised something else! The majority of Scotland is held by Labour, and Scotland don't want England to win! Coincidence?!? (That sort of conspiracy will get you fired from your onw blog - Ed.)

In light of recent football results, I feel obliged to say...

Tee hee hee.

Although, in truth, the result is a little annoying, as my sister and I have currently made a pact to support the underdog and the favourite respectively. So yesterday, thanks to Mexico and Greece, I lost 2-1. Just as well Argentina turned up, then, or I'd have been whitewashed: like certain extremist political parties. (Anyone heard about UKIP lately? No, didn't think so...)

It has most certainly not been a World Cup that has behaved itself: although at least it has now decided to get going after some appalling opening matches: Japan and Cameroon, I'm looking at you. France, under the guidance of the paranoid and eccentric Raymond Domenech, are not the side that won in '98, or even the side that came second four years ago, but you would expect them to get out of their group, wouldn't you? As it is, all that handball incident did was get Thierry and his mates to a tournament that, so far, they've yet to actually score in. Are the French engaged in some kind of cycle? Final, out at group stages, final, out at group stages, and so on? If so, you might want to put a few on them for Brazil 2014. But I'd wait for a bit, if I'm honest.

Anyhoo, today means I have to back, erm, Germany, the US, and England. And if any of those three lose... well, it will be a mild upset to say the least. Though I'm not sure what England will do if Slovenia win. THAT could make things interesting.

The Evening Stanners

Vuvuzeeeeeeeeela

I like to think this is how Eric Clapton views the current situation...