I go Ice Shuffling, And Alan Johnson Comes Down With A Bump

So. Ice skating.

It's INSANE. How do people manage to glide around so effortlessly? Apart from practising for hours on end, obviously. I was getting the hang of it by the end of the session, but still: this would explain why we idolise Torville & Dean so much. If you can do something well when it looks impossible to many, then you clearly have talent.

Sadly, a similar task lay in store for Alan Johnson when he became Shadow Chancellor last October, but he was skating on thin ice from the start. (You're fired - Ed.)

Hands up if you're surprised by this news

Johnson was relatively affable and a well-known face, but a politician who is not in control of their brief will find things difficult at the best of times. It is a great shame that personal issues have brought his career to a shuddering halt, and is something you would not wish on your worst enemy. That said, you wouldn't wish the rumours about him on Twitter on your worst enemy, but that hasn't stopped some. Personally, I was surprised at anyone that he resigned, but after his surprise absence from PMQs yesterday, perhaps it was more obvious than I thought.

So, will Ed Balls, his replacement as Shadow Chancellor, give Osborne a run for his money (or rather ours)? He certainly has a better knowledge of economics, and Osborne will find his questions harder to deflect. But whilst it might be tempting to mercilessly attack the Government's policy, voters showed in their rejection of Gordon Brown that a big clunking fist does not always get the desired results. Ed Balls now has the brief he wants: the key to Labour's success is to not let it go to his head.

The Evening Stanners

Prime Minister's Questions

My MP (as in the one I work for) had the first question at PMQs today, which doesn't happen often! You can listen to it here.

For those of you who'd rather not listen to MPs shouting their heads off, here's the question (and answer in full):

Q1. [34265] Andrew George (St Ives) (LD): If he will list his official engagements for Wednesday 19 January.

The Prime Minister (Mr David Cameron): This morning I had meetings with ministerial colleagues and others. In addition to my duties in the House, I shall have further such meetings later today.

Andrew George: The NHS is facing massive reorganisation, while at the same time seeking the greatest savings in its 62-year history. Respected professional medical bodies warn about the risks to public service of giving private companies the easy pickings. Before pursuing that gamble will the Prime Minister reflect carefully, informed by clinicians and the coalition programme that we agreed last May?

The Prime Minister: We will listen very carefully to the professionals, but the reason for making modernisation of the NHS such a priority is simply that this country now has European levels of health spending but does not have European levels of success in our health service. Of course, what we want is a level playing field for other organisations to come into the NHS. What we will not have is what we had from Labour, which was a rigged market.

Thanks for reading,

The Evening Stanners

(P.S. Apologies once more for the gaps between updates: it's been very busy of late! I shall be going ice skating this evening, so hopefully I'll be able to tell you all about that tomorrow, barring any injuries I sustain.)

Widespread Surprise As Union Leader Denounces Cuts

Any idea who this man is? Until today, I didn't either: but after hearing his name on the radio, I have subsequently found out quite a lot about Mr Len McLuskey, leader of the Unite union. For one thing, he's been a trade union activist for most of his career. He was also heavily involved in the British Airways strikes that occurred earlier this year. And, perhaps unsurprisingly, he's belligerently left-wing. Put these facts together and what have you got? A letter to the Guardian, that's what:

"Britain's students have certainly put the trade union movement on the spot. Their mass protests against the tuition fees increase have refreshed the political parts a hundred debates, conferences and resolutions could not reach.

We know the vast rise in tuition fees is only the down payment on the Con-Dem package of cuts, charges and job losses to make us pay for the bankers' crisis. The magnificent students' movement urgently needs to find a wider echo if the government is to be stopped.

The response of trade unions will now be critical. While it is easy to dismiss "general strike now" rhetoric from the usual quarters, we have to be preparing for battle. It is our responsibility not just to our members but to the wider society that we defend our welfare state and our industrial future against this unprecedented assault."

Preparing for battle? It would appear that McLuskey's advocating violence, as it were. Supposedly Ed should be shouting for Osborne's head on a stick at PMQs and prodding Camilla with a stick in order to get us out of this mess? Of course not: violence solves nothing, and has the unhelpful effect of alienating those who would otherwise side with you. But let's move on to the integral part of this letter...

"A key part must be a rejection of the need for cuts. "What do we want? Fewer cuts later on", is not a slogan to set the blood coursing.

So I hope Ed Miliband is going to continue his welcome course of drawing a line under Labour's Blairite past, in particular by leaving behind the devotion to City orthodoxy, which still finds its echo in some frontbench pronouncements that meet the coalition's cuts programme halfway at the least."

Right. I see. Dear Mr McLuskey, are you Arthur Scargill in disguise? Are you seriously suggesting that overthrowing the Government with widespread strikes will somehow make us more stable as a country? Even the Guardian's editorial thinks you've lost the plot. More to the point, Ed Miliband has subsequently come out and denounced your "overblown rhetoric" as "wrong and unhelpful". He might as well have said, "Stop trying to make me look bad, I'm trying to write a Policy Review here".

So, poor old McLuskey, in a desperate bid to influence the Labour Party's policy on cuts, has simply been left looking rather silly. Maybe he should go on strike until someone takes him seriously...

The Evening Stanners

Labour Need To Smarten Up

Is this, dear readers, what the Labour Party has been reduced to in recent weeks? It would appear so. Yesterday in the House of Commons, a Labour MP decided that what the public really wanted to see a discussion on was the dress code of MPs.

The most controversial issue in Parliament?

According to BBC News, "Thomas Docherty, new MP for Dunfermline and West Fife, raised a point of order suggesting several MPs had been spotted wearing denim in the House.

Later he told the BBC the point had been "semi-serious" but some women MPs had been "rocking up in a mixture of denim and knee length boots".

Deputy Speaker Dawn Primarolo said all MPs knew they should dress smartly.

MPs laughed as she suggested Mr Docherty speak to those concerned directly, adding 'I'm sure they would welcome it'."

The scandal of some coalition MPs, eh? First they hike tuition fees, now they're wearing denim. Clearly we need Labour to stand up to these fashion criminals before the country goes to the wall!

Or, perhaps more helpfully, they could start drawing up some policies. After all, if the Tories can come up with something like this notebook for Christmas, the signs aren't good...

Why a notebook, I hear you cry? Bascially, it all stems from Ed Miliband saying that Labour were going to start with "a blank sheet of paper". Perhaps not the best phrase to have used in hindsight, because the Tories have gone for it like footballers go for scandalous affairs, and are actually selling this to their members as a 204-page notebook for a fiver. The joke being: it's blank.

Admittedly, I've heard better political jokes in my time, but the Tories may well have a point. Apart from proposing the graduate tax as an alternative to higher tuition fees, and rambling about "the squeezed middle", Ed is a man who appears to be big on Clegg-bashing but small on policy. Indeed, for someone who wrote the Labour manifesto, he's having difficulties coming up with new ideas: Labour's Policy Review remains unwritten.

The more pressing issue, however, is that Cameron is having a much easier time against Miliband than he was against Brown, who didn't even get voted leader by his party. Ed frequently tries to score points by painting himself as progressive, but the truth is he can't lay a finger on Cameron at present, and is frequently heckled into a state of confusion and irritation: Prime Minister's Questions on Wednesday 1st December being the best example so far. What's more, some progressive bloggers are already damning his current strategy. If he's not careful, the confusion may spread throughout his party: but for now, he appears to be safe. Whether he can win the next election, however, is open to serious debate.

The Evening Stanners

Interning: The Story So Far!

So then: what have I been up to these past three weeks? The short answer: working for Andrew George MP (St Ives and the Isles of Scilly) in his Westminster office, which is next to Big Ben.

Andrew George MP: representing Cornwall for over 13 years!

The long answer? Well, I could tell you, but I'd probably have to kill you. Or at least, make sure you never talked to a journalist. But I can confirm a number of things that the general public are probably aware of anyway...

1. MPs are, as a rule, EXTREMELY busy. This obviously depends on their role: if they're a new MP you will probably see them quite a lot; if it's Cameron or Clegg you're trying to spot, fat chance. You get used to seeing familiar faces after a while though: Alistair Darling and David Miliband have been spotted by yours truly from time to time.

2. An MP's diary is INSANE.

3. Cornish people write the nicest letters: one of them sent a typewritten letter. How awesome is that, eh? :-D

4. Movember (where men grow moustaches to draw attention to prostate cancer) has been well supported by many MPs: Mike Crockart, Roger Williams and Tom Brake to name a few!

5. You can work in Westminster for about six months and STILL not know where a room is.

6. I have lost count of how many letters we receive.

7. Bob Russell (MP for Colchester) has made a special chocolate bar for Lib Dems, and I have proof!



8. There are 650 MPs in total.

9. I have met... about 20, give or take. Mostly Lib Dems, like Charles Kennedy and Simon Hughes: but also Neil Carmichael (Conservative MP for Stroud), Nic Dakin (Labour MP for Scunthorpe), and Barry Gardiner (Labour MP for Brent North).

10. I am loving every minute of it, eeeeeeee :-D

That's all for now folks, but there may be more shortly!

The Evening Stanners

Liar, Liar, Phil's Been Fired

Just when you thought the General Election was fought fairly and squarely (if you ever thought that, that is)... it wasn't.

Behold what I read on BBC News, people!

"Two High Court judges have ordered a rerun of this year's General Election campaign in the Greater Manchester constituency of shadow immigration minister Phil Woolas.

Mr Woolas won the Oldham East and Saddleworth seat by 103 votes over Liberal Democrat rival Elwyn Watkins.

But he has been found guilty of knowingly making false statements about Mr Watkins in campaign literature, and faces a three year ban from the Commons."

Feel free to read more here, by the way. Have to say that's pretty crazy though: the scandalous thing is that Woolas seems to telling whacking great fibs is, um, well within the rules. Well, when you worked under Tony Blair, I suppose that would be instinctive, but still. If you read this article from the Daily Mail (oh the horrendous irony), his manipulation of the "white vote" is nothing short of horrendous. As Elwyn Watkins put it himself, "Politics has to be better than this. Making up lies about your opponent has no part in politics."

We'll have to see what happens on Monday: but it looks like Woolas is about to pay rather dearly. Still, never mind Ed: it's not like he's your Shadow Immigration Minister, is it?

Ah. Bother.

The Evening Stanners

Dead Miliband

"We're part of a new generation" - that makes their brother quit frontbench politics. Hmm. It has not quite been the result people expected: but whilst the outsider winning a leadership contest can be a good thing, it has a tendency to end badly sometimes.

See Iain Duncan Smith, for example. No-one expected him to be Tory leader in 2003, going up against Messrs Portillo and Clarke. As it was, he somehow found himself being the lesser of three evils, and at the top of the pile. However, at that range it's easy to get shot at: and with IDS, the target was painted in neon. The Tories shifted massively to the right, and became so toxic that they became a political joke.

Will Labour become the same thing in the years to come? It's hard to say. The problem is that we don't even know who's going to be in the Shadow Cabinet. Because, for some reason, the Labour MPs are electing their own cabinet.

Quite frankly, this makes no sense. Surely the leader picks his own team? Why does he need 257 people helping him to make the decision? It's surely going to lead to more infighting, and Labour has lost a lot of good and able politicians thanks to that. The most bizarre twist is that, amidst all this, Neil Kinnock has risen again in prominence, mainly due to singing Ed Miliband's praises.

Kinnock? Seriously? This is a man who could not beat John Major in the 1992 general election: which compared to 1997, does not exactly seem difficult. Yes, he was Labour leader for nine years: but he never looked like beating Thatcher. Made her look uncomfortable at times, granted. And a damned sight better at leading Labour than Michael Foot, naturally. But whilst it makes sense to have Kinnock advising you on how to reform the party, it does not make sense to give the impression that he is influencing national policy: because ultimately, Kinnock did not have the ability to convince people that his policies were better than anything the Conservative governments had in mind.

Ultimately, a shift to the left does a lot to gather attention: but battles are won on the centre ground. One piece of possible good news, though: Ed Miliband wrote the manifesto for the party that came second at the general election. The person who did that in 2005?

David Cameron, PM.

Miliband's either destined for No. 10, or destined to end up like his biggest fan Kinnock. At least he's doing better than his brother, eh?

The Evening Stanners

Also, Also!

My blog has been stalked courtesy of Facebook.

Does this mean I have a fan club? If so, I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

Have picked up the Times today: Mandelson's memoirs = major political win. Blair vs Brown is hilarious, especially as Blair keeps saying Brown is like a member of the mafia. STEP OUTSIDE POSH BOY...

The Evening Stanners

Not just a Tory-Dominated Coalition?

I am, in effect, repeating what Mark Thomson has said on his own commendable blog, Mark Reckons; but you have to take heart at what Ken Clarke (the new Justice Secretary) said today.

Of course, I like Ken Clarke generally. He's a Conservative who worked under Heath and Thatcher, true, but he is definitely not hardcore right-wing. If anything, he's more Conservative Liberal than Liberal Conservative. Nevertheless, his announcement that the prison service needs to be used as the last resort, and not the first, is encouraging.

Clarke, lest it should be forgot, has been here before: he was Home Secretary from 1992 until 1993, when the prison figures in England and Wales were well under 50,000. The fact that the 2010 figure is 85,000, therefore, is worrying. That's roughly 1 in 1000 people in prison. Using a few examples, therefore, Falmouth's prison population has gone from 15 to 30, Plymouth's from 100 to 200, and London's: well, you get the idea. That's a lot of prisoners to "bang up". And Britain, quite frankly, doesn't have the capacity for that.

So yes, stopping people from going to prison may not be the most popular thing for a poor family that's just had their house burgled, or had their car stolen. But if the previous Labour government had to let prisoners out early because overcrowding was that bad - and it was - then is prison the only answer?

I must admit, having no experience of prison myself, that my best source of knowledge of life behind bars is The Shawshank Redemption, which is a brilliant film in its own right. But it is important to realise the dangers of over-relying on an institution; as shown by the very sad story of an old prisoner, called Brooks, who simply cannot cope with the outside world after being released.



Yes, prisoners have done horrific things. And they don't deserve our help. But my word, do they need it. Because if all you offer them is walls and bars, then that's what they'll adjust to.

And then they don't go back. Their problems are bottled up, as the prisons fill up. And new prisons are hard to come by in times like these.

So Ken Clarke has three options.

He can keep things the way they are, even though the prisons are overcrowded. He can decide to be even more extreme, and re-introduce the death penalty: because, as Dickens satirically put it, "Killing people was simpler than jailing them".

Or, he can decide that there's more than one way to deal with a criminal: encouraging community service is just one example. And that's exactly what's he's done. It may well be a victory of sorts for Liberals: but more importantly, it's a victory for common sense.

The Evening Stanners

PS If you haven't watched the Shawshank Redemption, I cannot praise it enough. It is well worth watching all the way through, but the scene with Brooks is excellent film-making. You can't help but feel sorry for him :-(

Mr Gordon Brown, Where Art Thou?

(To be sung to the theme of Scooby-Doo, ideally)

Taken from the Guardian, y'all:

Age: 59.

Appearance: The Invisible Man, sans bandages.

The grumpy one who used to be prime minister? More or less. He's the business-friendly son of the manse who helped make Labour electable after 18 years in the wilderness, blah blah. But grumpy? JK Rowling calls him "affable, funny and gregarious".

When I die, I want that woman to write my obituary. So what's Brown doing now? Pretending to care about the Middle East? That's the other unpopular former Labour premier. This one's still in parliament, on the backbenches for the first time since Margaret Thatcher was in power. Almost 65% of the voters of Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath still love him.

Are you positive he isn't sorting out the Palestinian Question? He hasn't been on telly. He's been to the House of Commons twice since the election, once to take the oath of allegiance, and once to sit through two minutes of questions to the new environment secretary.

Isn't he right to keep his head down? If he doesn't, the other Labour MPs will only complain he's disrupting their leadership campaign. Whereas if he does, the Tories will complain he's neglecting his duties. On Monday, Cameron told the Commons he wished Brown "could be bothered to turn up to this House". If you're a politician, this is simply hilarious.

Whereas if you're not it's simply pathetic. So how has Brown been filling the hours? Watching every match in the World Cup, according to the cynics. "Working hard in his constituency," according to his wife.

And lovingly contemplating his leaving present? What did the rest of the cabinet give him? An overpriced print of Chequers, like Tony Blair got? Absolutely nothing so far. As one of them explained: "For a while we didn't know if he was going or not." And it is only seven weeks since Brown resigned.

Do say: "Just think of all the time you'll have to catch up with old friends."

Don't say: "That Gillian Duffy's at the door again."

Brown isn't the first to adopt this approach: John Major did something similar in 1997, staying on as an MP for four years but keeping himself "out of trouble"; and Edward Heath stayed on the backbenches for a good 26 years after being forced to step down as leader.

I did also think of Alec Douglas-Home, PM from 1963 until 1964 as a possible example, but Douglas-Home actually returned in 1970 as Foreign Secretary: proof that your Parliamentary career is not necessarily "over" if you get ousted from No. 10. Though it seems unlikely Brown will be taking a job in the Shadow Cabinet any time soon.

Incidentally, if you have a minute, the story about Douglas-Home potentially getting kidnapped as PM in '64 is fantastically British. "You realise if you kidnap me, the Conservatives will win by about 200 or 300?" Classic stuff.

The Evening Stanners

The Real End of New Labour

Rather fitting, this. Taken from BBC News...

The Labour club which played host to many milestones in Tony Blair's political career is to close.

Trimdon Labour Club was where the then MP for Sedgefield said he was standing for party leadership in 1994.

It was also the setting for three general election victory celebrations and his formal announcement that he was standing down as prime minister.

The club secretary said that finances had been hit by the smoking ban and cheaper supermarket drink prices.

After the club closes next month, the premises will be turned into a new pub, not affiliated with any party.

'Can't compete'

The club was opened by former Labour leader Neil Kinnock in 1993, and during Mr Blair's premiership visitors included the then French prime minister, Lionel Jospin.

Paul Trippett, the club secretary, said: "We're all devastated really, but we are losing money quite steadily and there doesn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel.

"The smoking ban did play a part, especially during winter months, but what's really done for us is cheap beer.

"In the club £10 will unfortunately only get you four pints of lager but if you go to one of the big supermarkets, £10 will get you 48 cans.

"Really, you can't compete with that."

The decision to close was made by the committee, following a number of discussions about finances.

"We thought we can do this in two ways," he said.

"We can struggle on until we were forced to close, or we can pay off our creditors and walk out on 22 July with our heads held high."

What I like here is the irony of New Labour: Blair effectively killed off the club that launched him with the smoking ban and encouraging cheap alcohol at off-licenses.

Funny old world...

The Evening Stanners

Blame Labour For The Footie

So, the England football team.

Yeah.

Makes me... proud... to be...

QUARTER-IRISH BECAUSE IRELAND BLOODY BEAT ALGERIA 3-0 FOR PETE'S SAKE

And breathe.

In light of the recent development that England are shocking, I have decided that the easiest way to guess how England will do is to see how Labour are doing in the polls.

Let's have a look-see...

1966: Labour win by a landslide, with George Brown as Deputy Leader. England win the World Cup.

1970: England get to the Quarter-Finals, but surprisingly lose to Germany. Labour lose the election, and George Brown loses his seat.

1974: England don't qualify. Labour win by default against Ted Heath.

1978: England don't qualify. Labour barely holding onto power under Lib-Lab pact.

1982: England make the second group stage. Labour on brink of extinction?

1986: England make the quarter-finals. Labour starting to fight back a bit. Gordon Brown is now an MP. (Note the Brown connection: note it!)

1990: England reach the semi-finals. Labour are ahead in the polls, and Thatcher is on the brink. Gordon Brown is on the rise in the Labour Party

1994: England don't qualify. Labour leader John Smith dies. Gordon Brown bottles chance to be leader.

1998: England make the second round. Labour are in power. Tony Blair is in a bit of trouble over the Ecclestone business; Brown is Chancellor.

2002: England make the quarter-finals. Brown has served five years as Chancellor.

2006: England make the quarter-finals. Blair's STILL there. Brown is very close to becoming PM.

2010: England can't beat the US or Algeria. BROWN IS NO LONGER IN DOWNING STREET.

So we can safely conclude that England only do well when:

1. There's a person called Brown in Government. (In between the two Browns, you'll notice, we never make it beyond the groups, or even qualifying sometimes!)

2. There's a strong Labour government.

3. We have huge riots in London.

So, seeing as the first two aren't going to happen anytime soon, I propose that somebody in London holds a riot before Wednesday, or we're all horribly DOOMED.

Ta.

The Evening Stanners

PS I just realised something else! The majority of Scotland is held by Labour, and Scotland don't want England to win! Coincidence?!? (That sort of conspiracy will get you fired from your onw blog - Ed.)

A Message to South Africa and Mexico

GET IT ON TARGET!

Muppets.

South Africa appear to have misunderstood the importance of being the hosts. Hosts! You are not allowed to be horrendous. So ideally, keep doing what you did for the last five minutes of the half, and keep firing it towards the Mexican goalie. Because, quite frankly, he's not quite tall enough to stop everything.

But yes, at the moment, the Labour Party leadership contest looks more interesting than this: and that, as I recently found out, is a contest between five people who ALL went to Oxbridge. Oxford and Cambridge are awesome, yes: but bizarrely, neither are Labour strongholds. Paradoxical stuff!

Ah, they've re-started. And when this match is over sirs, I shall be orf to Cambridge. Cheerio!

The Evening Stanners

Labour Leadership Contest...

JUST.

GOT.

INTERESTING.

Taken from that raging leftie machine of death... I mean, the Guardian :-)

Diane Abbott today became the first black person to contest the Labour leadership after a flurry of late nominations secured her place in the race alongside four other contenders.

The leftwing MP for Hackney North and Stoke Newington will fight for the leadership alongside David Miliband, Ed Miliband and Ed Balls, who were already confirmed as contenders.

She is joined by Andy Burnham, who this morning notched up the last two nominations from Labour MPs he needed to reach the threshold of 33.

Abbott entered on the closing day for nominations with the support of just 11 MPs – 22 short of the threshold. Amid unease that the race would be made up exclusively of white, male, Oxbridge-educated candidates, support for Abbott soared in the final hours before today's 12.30pm deadline when her fellow leftwinger John McDonnell withdrew and key figures such as David Miliband revealed that they were nominating her.

Abbott's campaign had already received a big boost when Harriet Harman, the acting Labour leader, took the unusual step yesterday of nominating her to ensure a woman's name on the ballot paper. As acting party leader, Harman does not intend to cast a vote in the election.

Today, McDonnell revealed he was withdrawing from the contest because he could not secure enough nominations and wanted to ensure the presence of a woman on the ballot.

The MP for Hayes and Harlington, who chairs the Socialist Campaign group, which Abbott attends, made his announcement just three hours before the deadline.

Harman was rumoured to be lobbying party colleagues to lend their support to Abbott in the final hours before nominations closed, with the remaining MPs required reportedly signing her nominations during the final minutes, as prime minister's questions was under way at noon.

Balls had asked MPs who had yet to cast their vote to throw their weight behind Abbott, since he had already received 33 nominations.

Miliband, the shadow foreign secretary, made good on his promise last week to offer his nomination to any candidate if it might make the difference to them appearing on the ballot paper.

In a Twitter message, he said: "Gather John McDonnell pulled out. I'm going now to nominate Dianne [sic] myself. Encourage others to do the same."

Jim Murphy, the shadow Scottish secretary, revealed that David Miliband had lobbied in favour of Abbott. "Good that David Miliband spent morning on phone persuading MPs to nominate Diane Abbott," Murphy said on Twitter. "It worked and good for contest."

Two of the last people to nominate Abbott were Jack Straw and Phil Woolas. Woolas was asked to nominate her by David Miliband. Straw and Woolas were keen to get her on the ballot even though she has condemned the Labour policy on immigration they strongly supported.

Abbott said she would stand out from the other candidates because of her "very different view on immigration", her record of opposition to the Iraq war from the start and her determination to recapture the civil liberties agenda from the Tories.

"The important thing is to have the best possible debate and then to regroup and lead the battle to protect our communities against Tory cuts," she said.

Citing 23 years on the backbenches, Abbott said she knew the importance of taking party members seriously and reconnecting with the party's grassroots.

Abbott, a Cambridge graduate, said: "I have never been a policy wonk. My parents left school at 14 and emigrated here in the 1950s. I am a single mother and I have spent 23 years working at every level in this party."

Confirming the candidates, Harman said: "This will be the biggest and most widespread election of any political party or any organisation in this country. The contest will be open, engaging and energising. It will be a chance to invite supporters to join the party to have a vote."

McDonnell's decision to withdraw from the race means he has now twice been thwarted in his attempt to represent the left in a leadership debate. His attempt to challenge Gordon Brown in 2007 failed after he did not manage to secure the necessary number of nominations.

His latest campaign was marred by his joke earlier this week that he would like to have gone back in time and assassinated Margaret Thatcher, the former Tory prime minister.

Shadow environment secretary Hilary Benn, who backs Ed Miliband, denied the last-minute race to secure enough nominations for Abbott meant the contest had become a shambles.

"It's not a shambles at all," he told BBC Radio 4's The World At One. "It's going to be a good contest. There's going to be an open political debate because we are not just choosing a leader, we are determining the future of the party."


Abbott denied she was the beneficiary of positive discrimination. "Not at all," she told the BBC News Channel. "I have been an MP for 23 years and if, after 23 years, I haven't earned the right to stand for the leadership then nothing counts for anything."

Abbott said her senior colleagues had responded to the mood within the party for a contest with a greater diversity of candidates.

"This isn't an artificial thing," she said. "There is real support out there, both in the party and the public, for the broadest possible slate of candidates and for a proper debate about the future of the Labour party."

Abbott, who appeared on the BBC's late-night This Week politics show prior to throwing her hat in the ring, cited opinion polls which indicated that was the second most popular candidate among Labour voters and the top choice of the public at large.

"My support came from across the party and I believe in the contest I will get support from across the party also," she said.

The successor to Gordon Brown will be chosen by a complicated electoral college system in which three sections – MPs and MEPs; affiliated organisations including trade unions; and party members – each wield one third of the vote.

The postal ballot will be conducted over the summer, with the result announced on 25 September at a special conference ahead of the party's annual autumn gathering in Manchester.

Voters will rank candidates in numerical order of preference on ballot papers, with a "transferable eliminating" system used to redistribute votes until one contender has more than 50% support.

Labour is hoping that interest in the leadership contest will spark a surge in membership applications, with anyone joining the party before September 8 entitled to vote.

Exciting stuff, no? It's definitely a good day for democracy, because this leadership contest was in danger of becoming horrendously boring. As it is, we now have five people running instead of three, two of whom are relative unknowns, and one of whom (Abbott) is on the left of the party, voted against the Iraq War and is a backbencher. Burnham will also make things more interesting, whilst the performance of Ed Balls, David Miliband and Ed Miliband will show just how dead or alive New Labour is.

Also pleased that Harman backed Abbott. Another triumph for Women's Lib, perhaps?

The Evening Stanners

Guess Who's In Hornsey?

That's right: it's me, on the hunt for jobs: of the working-with-an-MP variety.

Speaking of MPs, I was lucky enough to bump into Mr David Heath, a Government Minister for the Foreign Office and the Liberal Democrat MP for Somerton and Frome (which be in Somerset, lad). He wished me good luck with trying to find work/work experience, but said he was unable to offer any himself: using his own words, "The Civil Service have taken over my life!"

Yes, they do tend to do that when you spend lots of time in Whitehall. Still, it was good to meet another MP. I appear to be getting into a habit of doing that now :-)

More as and when I actually get a dashed job! Also, the Labour Leadership contest is in danger of becoming very boring. Someone hurry up and get the other three nominated, please!

The Evening Stanners

Broken Laws

Oh, dearie me. The coalition may well hold a new record for the quickest Cabinet resignation since the formation of a UK government known to man. Not even Ted Heath's government started this badly, though it has to be said that David Cameron did NOT get hit by rotten tomatoes.

So why is the Lib-Con coalition honeymoon "already over"? Well, as I'm sure you'll have read in the Guardian and other such outraged newspapers (ie all of 'em), David Laws (above), Chief Secretary to the Treasury, resigned yesterday. This is because he broke the expenses rules from 2006, when he claimed money that should have gone to the taxpayer.

About £40,000 to be precise.

Naturally, there's a bit of outrage about that: the Lib Dems did rather well after taking the moral high ground on the expenses scandal last year, so the Yeovil MP is not exactly in much of a position to argue.

The difficulty for Laws is that he was trying to protect people around him: because the money he claimed went to his landlord, and partner, James Lundie. Many of his close friends did not know about Laws' sexuality: hence why he claimed the money, in order to protect his reputation. Unfortunately, covering something up will only get you so far: in Laws' case, into the Cabinet for 18 days, before all hell broke loose.

It's hard not to feel sorry for Laws: one gets the feeling he's been hounded out a bit here. But rules are rules, and Laws would only have damaged his reputation further by trying to wriggle out of it. In any case, judging by the support from such right-wingers as Iain Duncan-Smith, he will probably be back at some point. But the lefties will want to see him repay the money, and plenty of penitence whilst he's at it: much like they wanted to see Tony Blair apologise for Iraq, or George Bush apologise for being a muppet.

So will the coalition fall apart? My guessing would be: not yet, lads. This was very much the media baying for blood, and the public mood is decidedly anti-media: newspapers are not cool, Twitter and Facebook more sort of are. So the likelihood is it will hold until at least next May, by which time we'll see how the new Labour man (or woman) is doing.

Definitely a shock to the system, though.

Clegg: Well, this is a bit bogus.

Bill: Shut up, Clegg!

The Evening Stanners

Labour Leadership Contest: Ed, Dave and Eddie

Okay, the show was technically called Ed, Edd and Eddie. But you get the idea.

Here's the deal:

David Miliband is nominated, as is Ed Miliband. Ed Balls, whilst still struggling a bit, has at least got himself nominated and will be difficult to remove from frontline politics, as the Conservatives found when they failed to "decapitate" him from Morley on May 6th.

The other three are still trailing, unfortunately. Burnham is half-way there (thank you Bon Jovi. Yes, now you too have that song in your head), McDonnell has six signatures, and poor old Diane Abbott only has one. So much for diversity!

It will be a lot clearer after the end of this week who's not going to make it: after all, the other three do have a whole week to garner support, so we'll see.

Interestingly, Dave Miliband has suggested the idea of televised debates for the contest, which would certainly be a modernising move and would do Labour a fair bit of good in my opinion. After all, it did inspire Cleggmania!

More soon...

The Evening Stanners

Labour Leadership: Ed's Ahead

Well, that was quick. The nominations by MPs for the Labour Party's next leader have only been open for a day and already Ed Miliband has taken a storming lead.

The nomination process is a bit complicated, but basically it works like this: there are 258 Labour MPs who can pledge their support to any one of the six candidates. They do this in the form of a signature, and every candidate has to get at least 33 signatures in order to advance to the "next stage", as it were.

Anyway, in a somewhat surprising development, Ed Miliband has already achieved that, with 35 signatures to his name. His brother David is on course to get enough, but is still trailing significantly with just 19 signatures. Ed Balls is third with four, Andy Burnham has one, and Diane Abbott and John McDonnell do not have any support so far. That should change in the next few minutes, however, as the Labour Party website is updating the signatures at 12:30pm and 5:30pm every day until the 9th June.

So in short, this could take a while: but expect both Milibands to have advanced to the next stage by the end of the day.

The Evening Stanners

Bill and Clegg: Speaker Bercow

As Nadine Dorries' attempt to create revolution goes down like the Bay of Pigs in '63, Bill and Clegg give you their official (and fictional) lowdown...

Clegg: Dude, this seat arrangement is totally contrived, man.

Bill: What do you mean, Clegg?

Clegg: Well, I'm to the left of Cameron, and you're like, to the right.

Bill: No. Way.

Clegg: Yes way.

Bill: Well that's pretty rockin' man. But why are they dragging Bercow?

Clegg: 'Cos he is a drag, Bill. What was with all those no's, anyway?

Bill: No idea, man. But they were most heinous.

Clegg: Wait one totally awesome moment, Bill. If I'm essentially Keanu Reeves, where will this leave me in ten years' time?

Andrew Marr: Mr Cleggeron. Surprised to see me?

Clegg: Not really.

The Evening Stanners

Speak Up, Old Chap

This is John Bercow, MP for Buckingham and Speaker of the House of Commons. Or is he? Because for a man who needs to keep order at Prime Minister's Questions and crucial debates, Bercow is having a bit of difficulty keeping hold of anything.

It wasn't always so for the Speaker: generally elected comfortably, it's a position that isn't normally affected by the hurly-burly of elections. Douglas Clifton Brown, for example, became Speaker during the Second World War of all times, and stayed on after the Labour landslide despite being Conservative. Likewise, figures like Bernard Weatherill and Betty Boothroyd saw relatively long stints at the post pass unhindered, as Thatcher and Blair towered over them.

But then came Michael Martin, and all hell has broken loose since then.

Martin was elected in October 2000, and caused a bit of a stir at the time amongst those who believed that a Conservative MP should have been chosen for the role. He had been chosen because of his support from fellow Labour backbenchers, but from 2006 onwards he started to make a nuisance of himself. Supposed bias towards Tony Blair certainly did not endear him to Conservative MPs or rebel Labour backbenchers.

Then came the expenses.

It is not at all clear whether Martin was aware just how much he was shooting himself in the foot, but to the impartial spectator it appears he was more than happy to carry on reloading. Martin was linked with not one but four expenses scandals, he then let police search the office of Damian Green (the Conservative spokesman for immigration) without a search warrant.

After that, the writing was on the wall: Douglas Carwell MP tabled a motion of no confidence on 19th May 2009, and Martin resigned. It was the first time in over 300 years that a Speaker had had to stand down.

Bercow's appointment has been equally controversial: he may be a Conservative, but the Tories do not like him. This is illustrated rather well by Nadine Dorries (above), the Conservative MP for Mid-Bedfordshire, who has e-mailed the "new kids on the block" in order to warn them about that bully Bercow. The warning goes as follows: "there are a number of reasons why, since his appointment, Mr Bercow has proven unsuitable in the Speaker's role. Not least, on the occasions during the last session when Mr Bercow found remaining impartial, a crucial quality in the role of Speaker, very difficult, leading to a number of heated exchanges between the Speaker and Conservative MPs."

So. Not really a ringing endorsement.

Fortunately for Bercow, Dorries is generally considered a pain in the neck by her own party and by others: her own expenses claims do not exactly give her the high ground, and such campaigns as banning high heels in the office would seem to present her as having her priorities mixed up. Some comments on Twitter illustrate this point rather well:

If Nadine Dorries thinks new MPs don't know how batty she is, she's more batty than I thought.

Given she can't maintain a Twitter a/c or website it's amazing Nadine Dorries managed to send an email at all.

Just when I thought I couldn't dislike Nadine Dorries more!

Haha, I bet Bercow is delighted Dorries is telling people not to vote for him.

Nadine Dorries wants to get rid of Speaker Bercow? Bercow can't be all that bad then!

Judging from those soundbites, it's going to be rather surprising if Bercow actually gets voted out. Even if he is much too liberal for the Daily Mail's liking. And after all, if he can hold off ten opponents in his own constituency, chances are he'll knock Dorries for six. Otherwise, one suspects this Government has started with a wobble.

The Evening Stanners